There is no greater sorrow than losing a child, therefore it’s natural for both parents to go through a whole range of emotions. And no single method can help in overcoming and living with this sense of loss, so it’s crucial for every parent to find their way in those difficult times.
Based on many families’ experiences, there are certain steps every mourning mom and dad need to go through in order to rebuild their lives, find solace, and create another chance for happiness after experiencing Infant loss.
Accept Support and Care
Many of your closest family members and friends will want to help you, but they will likely not know-how. Let them know that you need to talk freely about your sadness, or that you need a distraction and a conversation completely devoted to other aspects of your life. At other times, silence in the company of your loved ones will also help you heal.
Allow your friends and family to be there for you and don’t shy away from reaching out when you need a shoulder to cry on, a few warm words to get you out of the bed or a walk in the sun and a friendly face. Isolating yourself can only lead to greater sadness, and it’s crucial to find a way back into a positive state of mind, which can be achieved when you are surrounded by love and compassion.
Take your time
No matter how your loss happened, your doctor and other healthcare professionals will not rush you into any decision. From deciding on the funeral details, all the way to looking for advice on managing your health, all of these details will be painful and will take time.
According to a study conducted in England, grieving parents needed many forms of support, but listening was by far the most helpful element in the process. Keep in mind that you are not alone, there are no right and wrong choices, and the most important thing of all is to be treated with kindness and respect, and everyone around you is there to listen and help you cope, not put any pressure on you.
More often than not, parents either have a hard time going through one of the grief stages, or starting the process altogether, and naturally so. Grief entails five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance, all of which are perplexing, overwhelming mixtures of various emotions caused by the event itself, as well as hormonal changes and other health factors.
Joining a support group or turning to the Heath Group Practice for grief counselling is a healthy way to cope with bereavement and have a structured support system with a professional who will provide you with guidance and encouragement every step of the way. Everyone mourns differently, so it makes perfect sense that you will need help in finding your way to go back to your life and reawakening the feelings of excitement and joy.
Embrace your emotions
While your partner might be going through completely different emotions, your own feelings are equally valid and you can both find strength and support in each other, no matter how differently you’re coping with your loss. You can help each other realize that you were not at fault, and remind each other of all the beautiful aspects of your relationship that will help you get through the loss.
If your partner prefers to think and talk about your future, while you find comfort in talking about your loss, you can find the middle ground that will help both of you respect each other’s wishes. Set up a therapy session to talk about your grief, or even a separate conversation to discuss your future and regain that hopeful outlook on life.
Child-loss leaves permanent scars, but the grief you are now experiencing can slowly transform into a loving memory of your baby, and you can allow happiness to nest in your mind and soul again, and heal your life one caring step at a time.
Editors Note: get in touch with me if you need a bereavement doula or counsellor in your area.
About the Author:
Olivia Williams Jones is a psychologist from Brisbane, dedicated to making some changes in the world, starting from her own environment. Also, she is a regular contributor to High Style Life blog. Olivia is a writer who is passionate about mental health, parenting, healthy living and pets. Her motto is “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Connect with Olivia on Facebook and Twitter!